Precipice

I feel as if I am standing on a precipice. I feel like something pivotal is going to occur in my life. At church this past Sunday I felt God telling me that something was going to happen, but to be patient and calm about it. I’m not sure what though. That’s the most annoying/exciting thing about listening to God. You die in anticipation for whatever will happen, you drive yourself mad trying to figure out what it is, and you second-guess every opportunity that comes along. I’ve found the key to be a sense of calm and relaxation in the decision making. If I feel anxious, then it’s most likely not what God has in mind for me. But when I can breath-easy about making the decision, then I know it’s the right thing to do.

It could be any number of things for me right now, which means I’m conflicted. ARGGG!!!!

• I’ve been trying to get a new job for a few months now, and a friend of ours has recommended me to replace her. So that could be it.
• I’ve been rethinking my educational path. I don’t know if I want to pursue GIS. It’s interesting, but is it me? Is it what God wants me to do? I don’t think it is. I love all things international. I studied history, more specifically world history, in college because I love learning about other countries. US history is boring…it’s only 234 years-old. Nicholas Flamel was around longer than that. I watch Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations because he travels the world and that’s my current way of seeing it. I also love politics/political science. It was my second major in college. If you put the two together you get international studies/international politics/international relations. I have a passion for it, but do I have the aptitude for a Master’s degree in it. Sacrifices will have to be made to pursue it, but if it’s what God wants he often asks for sacrifices. We’ll see.
• Meredith and I have also been looking at moving. We’ve considered buying a house, but that would keep us in our current location for longer than we would like to and keep us from moving abroad which is a dream of both of ours. But we have found a duplex that has washer/dryer, dish washer, and a back yard.
• Meredith and I have also been considering our car situation. My car is 10 years and 160k+ miles old, so it’s almost time to get a new car. So we’ve been looking. We’ve decided to get a 2011 Subaru Outback! It is a perfect vehicle for what we want to do—camping, transporting dog, room for future additions, etc. We just have to wait for the one we want—charcoal gray, black interior, 6-speed manual transmission, all-weather package—which should be 1-4 weeks away.
• Meredith just got a job! Thank God for that. So now our income has just about doubled. We’ve been able to live on mine and Meredith’s inconsistent, yet crucial, income; plus we’ve saved almost 20k. We’ve been doing well, but this will allow us to save more so that we can do more.
o We could move to DC so Meredith can pursue an Urban and Regional studies program in Environmental Policy and Planning at the Virginia Tech campus in Alexandria. I could pursue an international studies degree once she is finished. One of us would have to work. I’ve already discovered that it’s difficult to work full-time and go to school full-time.
o After that we could move to Europe and pursue that dream of ours.

It’s not easy to let others direct your life, but it’s God, he knows what he’s doing. So I’m standing here at the precipice, waiting.